Introducing the Intrigue Recovery Workbook + Companion Guide

Some struggles stay hidden for years—not because a person doesn’t want help, but because they don’t yet have the words, framework, or roadmap to understand what’s happening inside.

One of those struggles is intrigue.

What is “intrigue”?

In the recovery world, intrigue is more than “noticing someone attractive.” It becomes a repeated pattern of pursuing attention, attraction signals, or emotional “hits” (a look, a moment, a subtle cue) as a way to regulate the heart and the nervous system. For some, intrigue becomes a kind of counterfeit connection—a short-lived sense of validation, excitement, or escape that quickly fades and leaves shame, restlessness, or discontent behind.

Intrigue often thrives in the outer world—public spaces, screens, social media, workplaces—where quick, anonymous attention is easily available. But if we only treat it as an outward behavior, we miss what it’s really doing beneath the surface.

Why a workbook?

Many men want freedom but feel stuck in vague cycles:

• “It just happened.”

• “I wasn’t doing anything.”

• “It’s not that bad.”

• “I can stop anytime.”

But patterns don’t break in vagueness. Freedom begins when we bring the cycle into the light, name it clearly, and learn to interrupt it early—before it gathers momentum.

That’s why I created the Intrigue Recovery Workbook: a practical tool designed to help a person identify patterns, triggers, beliefs, consequences, and deeper needs—then rebuild integrity with concrete, repeatable steps.

This workbook is not meant to be a 12-step program in book form, and it’s not meant to overwhelm. It’s meant to be simple, honest, and usable.

The model: Concentric Circles

The workbook is built around the metaphor of concentric circles, because intrigue is rarely only one-dimensional. It impacts how we relate to:

1) The Outer Circle — Society and the Outside World

This is where intrigue often shows up first: public spaces, casual interactions, screens, scrolling, and fantasy. Here we learn to map high-risk patterns and practice “early exits” at the first 10% of temptation.

2) The Middle Circle — Love and Attachment

This circle focuses on relationships with those closest to us—spouse, family, close friends. Here we explore how distance, conflict, resentment, fear of vulnerability, and unmet attachment needs can quietly fuel intrigue as a form of “false intimacy.”

3) The Nucleus — Self and God

This is the engine room: identity, shame, anxiety, worth, and the deeper beliefs that drive the urge to seek validation outside of God’s design. This is where many men discover that intrigue has been functioning like a coping tool—attempting to calm inner discomfort, escape pain, or feel “enough.”

Intrigue often reveals a disordered search for what only God can ultimately provide: secure identity, comfort, and belonging.

Scripture-guided and clinically informed

This workbook weaves together two essential truths:

1. Clinical insight: patterns are reinforced through triggers, rituals, emotional payoff, and shame loops. Change requires awareness, interruption, replacement, and support.

2. Biblical truth: the heart is the wellspring of life; renewal happens by truth; walking in the light leads to freedom; and desires must be restored to God’s created order.

One of the guiding passages is:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”— Psalm 139:23–24 (KJV)

Why a companion guide?

A workbook gives structure and practice—but some people also need the “why” in fuller form. That’s why I created a Companion Guide to go alongside it.

The companion guide:

• defines intrigue more clearly

• explains the behavioral and psychological mechanisms behind it

• highlights the spiritual costs (secrecy, divided heart, disordered desire)

• provides deeper teaching around the concentric circles

• gives language for what’s happening inside when urges rise

In short: the workbook is the work, and the companion guide is the explanation that supports the work.

Recovery is not a solo project

One of the most important principles in healing is this: freedom grows in community. Intrigue thrives in secrecy; integrity grows in the light.

That’s why I strongly encourage men to work through this material with support—whether that’s a sponsor, a coach, a trusted brother, or a pastor. When there is a shared framework, conversations become clearer, check-ins become more practical, and progress becomes measurable.

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow…”— Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (KJV)

A closing word of hope

If you’ve been chasing answers for years and you’re tired of the same cycle, you’re not alone—and you’re not beyond help.

The Lord is not only able to forgive; He is able to renew. He is able to restore what has been disordered. He is able to strengthen you at the earliest moment of temptation, and He is able to rebuild trust and wholeness over time.

If you’d like help working through this material, I’m happy to walk through it with you during our regular sessions and help you tailor a plan that fits your real-life triggers, relationships, and needs.